Setting a Boundary Around Advice | Learn Chinese in English

About This Lesson

Use Setting a Boundary Around Advice to practice Chinese conversation, pronunciation, vocabulary, grammar, and quizzes.

Dialogue

我很珍惜我们之间的谈话，但我需要设定一个界限。

Wǒ hěn zhēnxī wǒmen zhījiān de tánhuà, dàn wǒ xūyào shèdìng yí ge jièxiàn. I value our conversations, but I need to set a boundary.

我在听。比起猜测，我更愿意先理解。

Wǒ zài tīng. Bǐqǐ cāicè, wǒ gèng yuànyì xiān lǐjiě. I'm listening. I'd rather understand than guess.

如果对方马上给建议，我会觉得自己其实没有被真正听见。

Rúguǒ duìfāng mǎshàng gěi jiànyì, wǒ huì juéde zìjǐ qíshí méiyǒu bèi zhēnzhèng tīngjiàn. When advice comes right away, I feel like I haven't really been heard.

我本来是想帮忙，但我能理解你会有这样的感受。

Wǒ běnlái shì xiǎng bāngmáng, dàn wǒ néng lǐjiě nǐ huì yǒu zhèyàng de gǎnshòu. I meant to help, but I can see how it landed.

有时候，我需要先听到问题，再听建议。

Yǒu shíhou, wǒ xūyào xiān tīngdào wèntí, zài tīng jiànyì. Sometimes I need questions before suggestions.

这个要求很合理，我可以尊重它。

Zhège yāoqiú hěn hélǐ, wǒ kěyǐ zūnzhòng tā. That's a fair request, and I can respect it.

如果我确实想听建议，我也会明确告诉你。

Rúguǒ wǒ quèshí xiǎng tīng jiànyì, wǒ yě huì míngquè gàosu nǐ. I'll also tell you clearly when I actually want advice.

这样能帮助我用你需要的方式回应你。

Zhèyàng néng bāngzhù wǒ yòng nǐ xūyào de fāngshì huíyìng nǐ. That will help me respond in the way you need.

Word by Word

我 “我” refers to the speaker, meaning “I” or “me”; here it is used by A to describe A’s own feelings and actions. It commonly appears before a verb, as in “我很珍惜” and “我需要设定”. In a personal conversation, use it when stating your own experience or intention.

很 “很” strengthens the description “珍惜”, giving “我很珍惜” the meaning “I value or cherish very much”. It commonly appears before an adjective or descriptive verb. Use it when expressing a strong degree of appreciation or feeling.

珍惜 “珍惜” means to value or cherish something, here referring to the conversations between the two people. It commonly takes a person, relationship, opportunity, or thing as its object, as in “珍惜我们的谈话”. Use it when telling someone that a relationship or opportunity matters to you.

我们 “我们” means “we” or “our”; in “我们之间的谈话”, it identifies the two people whose conversations are being discussed. Before a noun, it can indicate something shared by the speakers, as in “我们的谈话”. Use it when referring to yourself together with the listener or another group.

之间 “之间” means “between” or “among”; in “我们之间”, it describes the relationship or space connecting the two people. It commonly follows the people or things being compared or related, such as “我们之间”. Use it when discussing a relationship, difference, or interaction between people or things.

的 In “我们之间的谈话”, “的” links the preceding description “我们之间” to the noun “谈话”, meaning the conversation between us. The reusable pattern is “修饰语 + 的 + 名词”, where the preceding part describes the noun. Use it to connect a relationship, quality, or other description to a noun.

谈话 “谈话” means “conversation” or “talk”, here referring to the conversations that A values. It commonly appears with verbs such as “珍惜谈话” or with a possessive description such as “我们之间的谈话”. Use it when referring to a meaningful or deliberate conversation between people.

但 “但” means “but” and connects A’s appreciation of the conversations with A’s need to set a boundary. It commonly links two clauses that contain a contrast, as in “我很珍惜……，但我需要……”. Use it when acknowledging one point before stating a different or limiting point.

需要 “需要” means “need”; in “我需要设定一个界限”, it expresses that setting a boundary is necessary for the speaker. It commonly appears before a noun or verb phrase, such as “需要设定”. Use it when explaining something necessary for your situation.

设定 “设定” means “to set” or “to establish”; here it describes establishing a boundary. It commonly appears before an abstract noun, as in “设定一个界限”. Use it when deliberately establishing a boundary, condition, goal, or standard.

一个 “一个” means “one” or “a” and presents “界限” as one boundary. “一” gives the number one and “个” is the measure word used here with the noun. The common pattern is “一个 + noun”; use it when introducing one item or an unspecified single item.

界限 “界限” means “boundary” or “limit”; in “设定一个界限”, it is the limit A wants to establish around advice. It commonly follows verbs such as “设定” when someone defines what is acceptable. Use it when clearly describing a personal, practical, or social limit.

在 In “我在听”, “在” marks the action of listening as ongoing at that moment. The common pattern is “在 + action”, used to describe an activity in progress. Use it when telling someone what you are doing right now.

听 “听” means “listen” or “hear”; in “我在听”, it describes B’s active attention to A. It commonly appears after “在” for an ongoing action, as in “在听”. Use it when showing that you are paying attention to someone’s words.

比起 The whole expression “比起” means “compared with” or “rather than”, introducing the option that is less preferred. In it, “比” introduces the comparison, while “起” completes the comparison expression “比起”; here “比起猜测” contrasts guessing with understanding. Use “比起 + option A，主语更 + action or description” when expressing a preference for another option.

猜测 “猜测” means “guess” or “speculate”; in “比起猜测”, it refers to trying to infer what the other person means without understanding first. It commonly appears when information is incomplete or uncertain. Use it when describing an interpretation based on insufficient information.

更 “更” means “more” or “rather”; in “更愿意先理解”, it strengthens B’s preference for understanding over guessing. It commonly appears before “愿意” or another description of a stronger preference, as in “更愿意 + verb”. Use it when comparing two possible actions or attitudes.

愿意 “愿意” means “be willing to”; in “更愿意先理解”, B says that understanding is the action B is prepared to choose. It commonly appears before a verb, as in “愿意理解” or “愿意帮助”. Use it when expressing willingness to do something.

先 “先” means “first” or “beforehand”; in “先理解”, it places understanding before guessing. It commonly marks the earlier action in a sequence, often in a pattern where one action happens before another. Use it when explaining the order in which you want actions to happen.

理解 “理解” means “understand”; in “先理解”, B wants to understand the situation before making a guess. It commonly takes a person, situation, meaning, or point as its object. Use it when showing that you want to understand someone’s experience or intention.

如果 “如果” means “if” and introduces the condition “如果对方马上给建议”. It commonly begins a conditional clause that is followed by a result or response. Use it when describing what happens under a particular condition.

对方 “对方” means “the other person” or “the other party”; here it refers to the person who immediately gives advice. It commonly appears before a verb, as in “对方给建议”. Use it when discussing another participant in an interaction without naming that person.

马上 “马上” means “right away” or “immediately”; in “马上给建议”, it emphasizes that the advice comes without first listening. It commonly appears before the action that happens immediately, as in “马上 + verb”. Use it when describing an action that happens without delay.

给 In “给建议”, “给” introduces the advice being provided, so the phrase means “give or provide advice”. It commonly appears before the item or help that someone provides, and it can also be followed by a recipient. Use it when describing the act of providing something to someone.

建议 “建议” means “advice” or “suggestion”; in “给建议”, it is the advice that arrives immediately. It commonly appears as the thing someone gives, makes, or discusses in a problem-solving conversation. Use it when referring to an idea offered to help someone decide or act.

会 In “会觉得”, “会” marks an expected or likely result: under that condition, A is likely to feel unheard. It commonly appears before a verb to describe what will or may happen. Use it when explaining a predictable response or consequence.

觉得 “觉得” means “feel” or “think”; in “会觉得自己其实没有被真正听见”, it introduces A’s personal impression of the situation. It commonly takes a clause after it, such as “觉得 + situation”. Use it when describing how someone interprets or experiences something.

自己 “自己” means “oneself”; here it refers back to the person speaking and identifies whose experience is being described in “自己没有被真正听见”. It commonly appears before a description or action to emphasize the person’s own experience. Use it when the subject wants to refer to themselves or another subject reflexively.

其实 “其实” means “actually” or “in fact”; here it emphasizes that A’s real experience is that A has not truly been heard. It commonly appears before the main description of a situation, as in “其实没有被真正听见”. Use it when clarifying the reality behind an impression or assumption.

没有 “没有” negates the following experience in “没有被真正听见”, meaning that being truly heard has not happened. Here it works with the passive construction rather than expressing possession. Use it before a verb or verb phrase when saying that an action or experience did not occur or is absent.

被 “被” marks the passive construction in “被真正听见”, presenting A as the person receiving the action of being heard. The reusable pattern is “被 + action”, with the subject experiencing what someone else does. Use it when the focus is on what happens to a person or thing.

真正 “真正” means “truly” or “really”; in “被真正听见”, it emphasizes that the listening should be genuine rather than merely immediate or superficial. It commonly appears before a verb or description to strengthen its authenticity. Use it when distinguishing a real quality or experience from only an appearance of it.

听见 In “被真正听见”, “听见” means “be heard”, because the passive marker shows that A receives the action. The form commonly describes whether someone’s words or voice are successfully heard. Use it when discussing whether a person has genuinely been heard in a conversation.

本来 “本来” means “originally” or “at first”; in “本来是想帮忙”, it introduces B’s original intention before acknowledging how the action was experienced. It commonly appears before an intended action, as in “本来是想 + verb”. Use it when explaining an initial purpose that may differ from the eventual result.

是 In “本来是想帮忙”, “是” links the subject with the intended action described by “想帮忙”. Together with “本来”, it presents what the speaker’s original intention was. Use it in a structure that identifies or describes a person, thing, or intended situation.

想 In “本来是想帮忙”, “想” means “want to” or “intend to”, describing B’s intention to help. It commonly appears before a verb, as in “想帮忙”. Use it when stating what someone wants or intends to do.

帮忙 “帮忙” means “help”; in “想帮忙”, it is the action B originally intended to provide. It commonly follows verbs such as “想” when describing an intention to help. Use it when offering or discussing help in an everyday interaction.

能 “能” means “can” or “be able to”; in “我能理解”, it expresses B’s ability to understand A’s reaction. It commonly appears before a verb, as in “能理解”. Use it when saying that you are capable of understanding, doing, or responding to something.

你 “你” means “you”; here it refers to A, whose feelings B can understand in “你会有这样的感受”. It commonly appears before a verb when addressing the listener’s action or experience. Use it when speaking directly about the other person.

有 In “有这样的感受”, “有” means “have” or “experience”, referring to having the feeling described by “这样的感受”. It commonly appears before a feeling, experience, or condition. Use it when saying that someone has or experiences a particular feeling.

这样 “这样” means “like this” or “such”; in “这样的感受”, it points back to the particular feeling under discussion. It commonly appears before “的 + noun”, as in “这样的感受”. Use it when referring to a situation or quality that has just been described.

感受 “感受” means “feeling” or “experience”; in “这样的感受”, it refers to A’s experience of not being truly heard. It commonly appears after “有” when describing an emotional experience, as in “有感受”. Use it when discussing how an event feels to someone.

有时候 “有时候” means “sometimes” and introduces an occasional need in “有时候，我需要先听到问题”. It commonly appears at the beginning of a sentence or clause before the situation it qualifies. Use it when describing something that happens on some occasions but not every time.

听到 “听到” means “hear” or “hear from someone”; in “先听到问题”, it describes receiving the questions before hearing suggestions. It commonly appears before a sound, piece of information, or spoken content. Use it when focusing on the result of hearing something.

问题 “问题” means “question” or “issue”; here it refers to questions that A wants to hear before suggestions. It commonly appears with verbs such as “提出” or “回答”, and here it follows “听到”. Use it when referring either to an inquiry or to a matter that needs attention, depending on context.

再 “再” means “then” or “afterward”; in “再听建议”, it marks hearing advice as the later step after hearing questions. It commonly works with “先” to show a sequence of actions, as in “先……再……”. Use it when telling someone what should happen next or afterward.

这个 “这个” means “this” and points to the specific request just made. In “这个要求”, it identifies the particular request B considers reasonable. It commonly appears before a noun, as in “这个 + noun”. Use it when referring to a specific nearby person, thing, request, or situation.

要求 “要求” means “request” or “requirement”; in “这个要求”, it refers to A’s request to hear questions before suggestions. It commonly appears after “提出” when someone makes a request or before an evaluation such as “合理”. Use it when describing what someone asks another person to do.

合理 “合理” means “reasonable” or “fair”; in “这个要求很合理”, it evaluates A’s request as acceptable and justified. It commonly follows a noun and can be strengthened by “很”, as in “要求很合理”. Use it when agreeing that a request, decision, or arrangement makes sense.

可以 In “我可以尊重它”, “可以” means “can” and expresses that B is able or willing to carry out the action of respecting the request. It commonly appears before a verb, as in “可以尊重”. Use it when accepting that an action is possible or appropriate for you to do.

尊重 “尊重” means “respect”; in “尊重它”, it describes treating the request as valid and worthy of consideration. It commonly takes a person, choice, request, or boundary as its object. Use it when agreeing to honor another person’s wishes or limits.

它 “它” means “it”; here it refers back to “这个要求”, the request B says can be respected. It commonly appears before a verb when referring to a non-person thing, idea, or situation. Use it to avoid repeating a previously mentioned non-person noun.

确实 “确实” means “indeed” or “really”; in “确实想听建议”, it emphasizes that A genuinely wants advice at that time. It commonly appears before a verb or description to confirm its truth. Use it when making clear that something is real rather than merely possible or assumed.

也 “也” means “also”; in “我也会明确告诉你”, it adds A’s promise to the arrangement already described. It commonly appears after the subject and before the main verb. Use it when adding another person’s action or another point to what has already been said.

明确 “明确” means “clearly” or “explicitly”; in “明确告诉你”, it describes telling the other person in an unmistakable way. It commonly appears before “告诉”, as in “明确告诉 + person”. Use it when communicating a need, preference, or decision without leaving it vague.

告诉 “告诉” means “tell”; in “告诉你”, it describes giving the listener clear information about when advice is wanted. The common pattern is “告诉 + person + information”, with the person receiving the message after “告诉”. Use it when directly communicating information or an intention to someone.

用 In “用你需要的方式回应你”, “用” means “by using” or “in”, introducing the manner in which B will respond. It commonly appears before a method, tool, or manner followed by an action. Use it when explaining how an action will be carried out.

方式 “方式” means “way” or “manner”; in “你需要的方式”, it refers to the manner of responding that A needs. It commonly appears after “用” to describe how an action is performed. Use it when discussing an appropriate method or manner for doing something.

回应 “回应” means “respond” or “reply”; in “回应你”, it describes B’s future response to A. It commonly takes a person, request, concern, or statement as its object. Use it when describing how someone answers or reacts to another person’s words or needs.

Grammar Points

比起A，B

比起猜测，我先听建议。

Bǐqǐ cāicè, wǒ xiān tīng jiànyì.

Compared with guessing, I listen to advice first.

“比起A，B”用于比较两个选择，表示说话者更倾向于B。

Chinese Vocabulary

比起 prep

bǐqǐ compared with; rather than

猜测 verb

cāicè to guess; to speculate

建议 noun

jiànyì advice; suggestion

界限 noun

jièxiàn boundary; limit

马上 adv

mǎshàng immediately; right away

其实 adv

qíshí actually; in fact

设定 verb

shèdìng to set; to establish

谈话 noun

tánhuà conversation; talk

听 verb

tīng to listen; to hear

珍惜 verb

zhēnxī to cherish; to value

真正 adv

zhēnzhèng really; truly

之间 prep

zhījiān between; among

Quiz

Spelling

Tap the letters to spell the word.

advice; suggestion

Show Answer

建议

between; among

Show Answer

之间

immediately; right away

Show Answer

马上

to guess; to speculate

Show Answer

猜测