Repairing trust after a sharp message | Learn Japanese in English

Japanese lesson set in a contemporary Tokyo everyday setting: In daily life, two adults repair trust after a sharp message by acknowledging the tone, explaining the context, and agreeing to pause before replying..

EN → JA / Level: B2

About This Lesson

Use Repairing trust after a sharp message to practice Japanese conversation, pronunciation, vocabulary, grammar, and quizzes.

Dialogue

A

先ほどのメッセージは、私が意図した以上にきつく伝わってしまったと思います。

sah-kee-HOH-doh noh meh-SEH-jee wah, wah-TAH-shee gah ee-TOH shee-TAH ee-JOH nee KEE-tsoo-koo tsoo-tah-WAHT-teh shee-MAHT-tah toh oh-MOH-ee-mahs. I think my earlier message came across sharper than I meant it to.
B

たしかにそうでしたが、私が何か背景を見落としているのかと思いました。

tah-shee-KAH-nee soh-oh deh-SHEE-tah gah, wah-TAH-shee gah NAH-nee-kah HAI-kay oh mee-oh-toh-shee-teh ee-roo noh-kah toh oh-MOH-ee-mah-shee-tah. It did, though I wondered if I was missing some context.
A

別のことでいら立っていて、急いで返信しすぎました。

BEH-tsoo noh KOH-toh deh ee-rah-DAHT-teh ee-teh, ee-SOH-ee-deh hen-SHEEN shee-soo-gee-mah-SHEE-tah. I was frustrated about something else and replied too quickly.
B

それでそのような口調になった理由は分かりますが、その言葉はやはり私に影響を与えました。

soh-REH-deh soh-noh YOH-oh-nah KOO-choh nee NAHT-tah ree-YOO wah wah-KAH-ree-mahs gah, soh-noh KOH-toh-BAH wah yah-HAH-ree wah-TAH-shee nee ay-KYOH oh ah-TAH-ay-mah-SHEE-tah. That explains the tone, but the words still affected me.
A

そのことについては私に責任がありますし、関係を修復したいと思っています。

soh-noh KOH-toh nee TSOO-ee-teh wah wah-TAH-shee nee seh-kee-neen gah ah-ree-mahs-shee, kahn-KAY oh shoo-FOO-koo shee-TAH-ee toh oh-MOH-tteh ee-mahs. I take responsibility for that, and I want to repair it.
B

そのことを認めてくれてありがたいです。信頼を取り戻しやすくなります。

soh-noh KOH-toh oh mee-toh-MEH-teh koo-REH-teh ah-ree-gah-TAH-ee dehs. sheen-RAH-ee oh toh-ree-moh-Doh-shee-YAH-soo-koo nah-ree-mahs. I appreciate the acknowledgment. It makes trust easier to rebuild.
A

次は、ストレスを感じているとき、返信する前に少し間を置きます。

TSOO-gee wah, soo-toh-REH-soo oh KAHN-jee-teh ee-roo toh-kee, hen-SHEEN soo-roo MAH-ay nee SOH-koo-shee MAH oh oh-kee-mahs. Next time, I'll pause before replying when I'm stressed.
B

それなら助かりますし、私も意図を決めつける前に確認します。

soh-REH nah-rah tah-soo-KAH-ree-mahs-shee, wah-TAH-shee moh ee-TOH oh kee-meh-TSOO-keh-roo MAH-ay nee kah-koon-EEN shee-MAHS. That would help, and I'll ask before assuming intent.

Word by Word

先ほど “先ほど” means earlier or a short while ago, referring here to the message sent shortly before. It is used as a time expression before “メッセージ”. You can use it when referring politely to something that happened recently.
の “の” links “先ほど” to “メッセージ”, making the first expression describe the second: the earlier message. It commonly connects a modifier or noun phrase to a following noun.
メッセージ “メッセージ” means message, specifically the message being discussed here. In “メッセージは”, it is the topic of the sentence. It is useful for referring to a written or electronic message.
は “は” marks “メッセージ” as the topic of the statement. It tells the listener what the following information is about. It commonly follows a noun or noun phrase that the speaker wants to discuss.
私 “私” means I or me and refers to the speaker. In “私が”, it is the subject of the clause describing what the speaker intended. It is a standard polite way to refer to oneself.
が “が” marks “私” as the subject of the clause “私が意図した”. It identifies who had the intention. It commonly follows the subject inside a clause that gives information about a noun.
意図 “意図” means intention or intended meaning. In “意図した”, it identifies what the speaker meant to convey. It is useful when discussing the intended purpose or meaning behind words or actions.
した “した” completes the expression “意図した”, meaning intended in this dialogue. It presents the intention as something already formed. Here it follows “意図” to describe what the speaker meant.
以上 “以上” in “意図した以上に” means more than or beyond the degree that was intended. It sets the comparison point for how harshly the message came across. It is commonly used with a following comparison or degree expression.
に “に” in “以上に” marks the reference point for the comparison. It connects “以上” with the degree expressed by “きつく”. In this form, it helps show that the result exceeded the intended level.
きつく “きつく” means harshly or sharply and describes how the message was conveyed. It modifies “伝わって”, so the focus is on the impression received by the other person. It can be used to describe a severe tone or manner.
伝わって “伝わって” means being conveyed or coming across in “きつく伝わってしまった”. Its て-form links the way the message came across with “しまった”. It is useful for describing how information or a feeling reaches another person.
しまった “しまった” in “伝わってしまった” shows that the result happened unintentionally or regrettably. It follows “伝わって” and adds the speaker’s regret about the message’s effect. This pattern is useful when acknowledging an unwanted result.
と “と” marks the preceding statement as the content of the thought before “思います”. Here it encloses the speaker’s assessment that the message came across too harshly. It commonly follows a clause before a verb of thinking or saying.
思います “思います” means think or believe in polite speech. At the end of this sentence, it presents the speaker’s assessment in a measured way. It is commonly used after a statement marked by “と”.
たしかに “たしかに” means certainly or indeed and acknowledges that the previous statement is correct. B uses it to accept A’s point before adding another concern. It is useful at the start of a response when agreeing with part of what someone said.
そう “そう” refers to the situation or statement just mentioned and means so or that way. In “たしかにそうでした”, it refers to the message having come across sharply. It is useful for pointing back to information already discussed.
でした “でした” politely states that the earlier situation was as described in “そうでした”. It confirms the previous point while referring to what happened. It commonly follows “そう” when agreeing about a past situation.
何 “何” means what, but in “何か” it contributes to the meaning something or some. Here it introduces the possibility of some missing background. It commonly combines with “か” to express an indefinite thing.
か “か” in “何か” changes “何” into an indefinite expression meaning something or some. It does not form a direct question here. Its function is to leave the specific background unspecified.
背景 “背景” means background or context, referring here to information that might explain the sharp message. It is the object of “見落としている”. It is useful when discussing circumstances behind a situation or statement.
を “を” marks “背景” as the object of “見落としている”. It shows what B may have missed. It commonly follows the noun receiving an action.
見落として “見落として” means overlooking or missing in “背景を見落としている”. Its て-form connects the act of missing something with “いる”. It is useful when information was present but was not noticed.
いる “いる” in “見落としている” shows an ongoing state of having overlooked the background. It combines with the preceding て-form to describe the state at that point. It is useful for describing a condition that continues or remains relevant.
思いました “思いました” means thought or wondered in polite speech. Here it reports B’s earlier thought that some context might have been missed. It commonly follows a clause expressing the content of a past thought.
別 “別” means different or another in “別のこと”. It indicates that the source of A’s frustration was separate from the message issue. It commonly appears before “の” when describing another noun.
こと “こと” means thing or matter in “別のこと”, referring to another matter. Together with “別の”, it identifies something separate from the current topic. It is useful for referring generally to an issue or situation.
で “で” in “別のことで” marks the matter connected with A’s frustration. It links “別のこと” to the state expressed by “いら立っていて”. Here it describes the circumstance or cause of the feeling.
いら立って “いら立って” means being frustrated or irritated in “いら立っていて”. It describes A’s emotional state before replying. Its て-form links that state to the following action.
いて “いて” continues the state expressed in “いら立っていて” and connects it with the reply action. It shows that A was in that frustrated state at the time. This form commonly links a background condition to another event.
急いで “急いで” means hurriedly or while in a hurry and describes how A replied. It modifies the action “返信しすぎました”. It is useful for explaining that an action was done without enough time or care.
返信 “返信” means reply or response, referring here to the message A sent back. In “返信しすぎました”, it combines with the action component “し”. It is useful when discussing responding to a message.
し “し” links “返信” to “すぎました” in “返信しすぎました”. It supplies the action component needed to express overdoing the reply; it does not by itself mean too quickly. This pattern is useful with a noun that forms an action together with “する”.
すぎました “すぎました” in “返信しすぎました” expresses that the replying went too far or was overdone. The hurried manner comes from “急いで”, while this form adds the sense of excess. It is useful for admitting that an action exceeded what was appropriate.
それ “それ” in “それで” refers to the frustration and hurried reply just described. It means that or that situation. It is useful for connecting a previously mentioned situation with its explanation or result.
その “その” in “そのような口調” means that or such and points back to the tone under discussion. It modifies “よう”. It is useful when referring to a manner or quality already established in the conversation.
よう “よう” means way or manner in “そのような口調”. It helps describe the kind of tone being discussed. Together with “その” and “な”, it forms a noun-modifying expression.
な “な” links “よう” to the noun “口調” in “そのような口調”. It allows the expression meaning such a manner to describe the following noun. It is used here specifically as the connector before that noun.
口調 “口調” means tone or manner of speaking. In “そのような口調になった”, it refers to the tone produced by the message. It is useful when discussing how someone’s words sound rather than only their literal content.
なった “なった” means became or turned into in “口調になった”. It describes the tone becoming the kind of tone mentioned earlier. It is useful for describing a change into a particular state or manner.
理由 “理由” means reason in “口調になった理由”. It identifies why the tone became that way. It commonly follows a clause that describes the event whose reason is being discussed.
言葉 “言葉” means words, referring here to the wording of the message. In the sentence, those words are the thing that affected B. It is useful when distinguishing the actual wording from the surrounding context or intention.
やはり “やはり” means still or after all and shows that the words had an effect despite the explanation. B acknowledges the context but maintains that the impact remains. It is useful when a result continues to be true after another factor is considered.
影響 “影響” means effect or influence in “影響を与えました”. It refers to the emotional effect the words had on B. It is commonly used with “を与える” when describing an effect on someone or something.
与えました “与えました” means gave or caused in “影響を与えました”, which means had an effect on someone. Here it presents the words as having affected B. It is useful for describing the result that an action or statement has on another person.
について “について” means about or concerning and marks the subject of responsibility in “そのことについては”. It identifies the matter that A is addressing. It commonly follows a noun when introducing the topic being discussed.
責任 “責任” means responsibility. In “私に責任があります”, it refers to A’s responsibility for the matter being discussed. It is useful when accepting responsibility for an action or result.
あります “あります” means exists or is present, and in “私に責任があります” it expresses that responsibility lies with A. The person connected with the responsibility is marked by “に”. It is useful for stating that a responsibility or obligation applies to someone.
関係 “関係” means relationship in “関係を修復したい”. It refers to the relationship between the two people, not simply to the message itself. It is useful when discussing the condition or repair of a personal relationship.
修復 “修復” means repair or restoration. In “関係を修復したい”, it describes the action A wants to take toward the relationship. It is useful for discussing the repair of something damaged, including a relationship.
したい “したい” means want to do, and in “修復したい” it expresses A’s desire to repair the relationship. It follows the action expressed by “修復”. It is useful for stating a personal intention or wish.
思って “思って” in “したいと思っています” contributes the idea of thinking or feeling that one wants to do something. Its て-form connects “思う” with “います”. The complete expression presents A’s intention as a current attitude.
います “います” in “思っています” shows that the thought or intention is currently held. It gives the expression a polite form. Here it presents A’s wish to repair the relationship as an ongoing intention.
認めて “認めて” means acknowledging or admitting in “認めてくれて”. It refers to B appreciating A’s acknowledgment of the problem. Its て-form connects the acknowledgment with the appreciative expression that follows.
くれて “くれて” shows that the other person did something for the speaker in “認めてくれてありがたい”. It adds the speaker’s sense that the acknowledgment was helpful or considerate. It commonly follows a て-form when appreciating another person’s action.
ありがたい “ありがたい” means grateful or appreciative. Here B feels grateful that A acknowledged the problem. It is useful for expressing appreciation for another person’s action or consideration.
です “です” is the polite copula after “ありがたい”. It makes the expression “ありがたいです” polite and complete. It is commonly used after an adjective in a polite statement.
信頼 “信頼” means trust. In “信頼を取り戻しやすくなります”, it is the trust that can become easier to regain. It is useful when discussing confidence in another person or relationship.
取り戻し “取り戻し” means regaining or recovering in “信頼を取り戻しやすくなります”. It identifies the action directed at “信頼”. It is useful when talking about recovering something that was lost or weakened.
やすく “やすく” in “取り戻しやすくなります” means easy to or easier to do. It describes the action of regaining trust as becoming easier. It commonly follows an action form to express ease or difficulty.
なります “なります” means becomes in “取り戻しやすくなります”. It marks a change toward the condition of being easier. It is useful for describing how a situation changes over time.
次 “次” means next in “次は”, referring here to the next similar situation or occasion. With “は”, it sets the time or occasion as the topic. It is useful for discussing what will happen on a subsequent occasion.
ストレス “ストレス” means stress, referring to the condition A may be experiencing. In “ストレスを感じている”, it is the object of feeling. It is useful for describing mental or emotional pressure.
感じて “感じて” means feeling or experiencing in “ストレスを感じている”. It describes A’s experience of stress. Its て-form connects that experience with “いる” to show the continuing state.
とき “とき” means time or when in “ストレスを感じているとき”. It introduces the situation in which A will pause. It commonly follows a clause to set the time for another action.
する “する” means do, and in “返信する前に” it expresses the action of replying. It is part of the time expression meaning before replying. It is useful for forming an action from “返信” in this dialogue.
前 “前” means before in “返信する前に”. It places the pause earlier than the act of replying. With “に”, it commonly marks the time before an action.
少し “少し” means a little or a short amount. In “少し間”, it describes the length of the pause A will take. It is useful for making the amount or duration modest rather than extensive.
間 “間” means interval or pause in “少し間を置きます”. It refers to the short time A will leave before replying. It is the object of “置きます” in this expression.
置きます “置きます” means put or place, but in “間を置きます” it expresses leaving or taking a pause. It describes A’s planned action before replying. This expression is useful when intentionally creating a short interval before responding.
なら “なら” in “それなら” means if that is the case or then. It responds to A’s proposed change and introduces B’s positive reaction. It is useful when drawing a conclusion from what someone has just said.
助かります “助かります” means that helps or I would appreciate it. B uses it to say that A’s plan would make the situation easier. It is a polite way to express practical or emotional benefit from someone’s action.
も “も” means also or too. In “私も”, it shows that B will make a similar effort in addition to A’s effort. It commonly follows the person or thing being added to the statement.
決めつける “決めつける” means assume or jump to a conclusion. In “意図を決めつける”, it describes deciding someone’s intention without checking first. It is useful when discussing an interpretation made too quickly or too certainly.
確認 “確認” means checking or confirming. In “確認します”, B promises to check the intention before making an assumption. It is useful when verifying information or understanding.
します “します” means do in polite speech, and in “確認します” it means will confirm or check. It gives B’s planned action a polite form. It commonly follows a noun such as “確認” to form an action.

Grammar Points

〜てしまう

きつく伝わってしまった。

KEE-tsoo-koo tsoo-tah-WAHT-teh shee-MAHT-tah

It ended up coming across harshly.

〜てしまう shows that something happened unintentionally or with an undesirable result.

〜やすくなる

信頼を取り戻しやすくなります。

sheen-RAH-ee oh toh-ree-moh-Doh-shee-YAH-soo-koo nah-ree-mahs

It becomes easier to regain trust.

〜やすくなる means that an action becomes easier to do.

Japanese Vocabulary

いら立っていて verb
ee-rah-DAHT-teh ee-teh being frustrated; being irritated
きつく adv
KEE-tsoo-koo harshly; sharply
たしかに adv
tah-shee-KAH-nee certainly; indeed
メッセージ noun
meh-SEH-jee message
影響を与えました phrase
ay-KYOH oh ah-TAH-ay-mah-SHEE-tah affected; had an impact on
急いで verb
ee-SOH-ee-deh hurriedly; in a hurry
見落としている verb
mee-oh-toh-shee-teh ee-roo be overlooking; be missing
口調 noun
KOO-choh tone of voice; manner of speaking
先ほど adv
sah-kee-HOH-doh earlier; a short while ago

先ほどのメッセージ

伝わってしまった verb
tsoo-tah-WAHT-teh shee-MAHT-tah ended up being conveyed; came across
背景 noun
HAI-kay background; context
返信しすぎました verb
hen-SHEEN shee-soo-gee-mah-SHEE-tah replied too much; replied excessively

Quiz

Spelling

Tap the letters to spell the word.

ended up being conveyed; came across

Show Answer伝わってしまった

certainly; indeed

Show Answerたしかに

be overlooking; be missing

Show Answer見落としている

message

Show Answerメッセージ